When Style Feels Like a Costume: Fashion, Impostor Syndrome & Finding Myself Again

 

Hey Babesss!!!

It’s been a minute, no chats, no blogs, no updates. I know, it’s long overdue. This post has been on my heart & I've been writing it for almost a year now, and it’s finally time to share it. Today, I’m opening up about something real: my experience with imposter syndrome when it came to my fashion journey.

I hope this message reaches you exactly when you need it. Let’s get into it.....

There’s something no one really prepares you for when you fall in love with fashion:

How easy it is to lose yourself in the process.

After having my daughter and moving to a new city, I lost myself in the process. I was trying to adjust to motherhood while also figuring out who I was outside of it. I even tried to make new friends who shared my love for fashion, hoping to reconnect with that part of myself. But the truth is, I didn’t really know what my style was, or who I was, until this past year. There were times I was misunderstood, especially by people who thought I was copying them, when in reality, I was just inspired and still trying to find my own voice.

I used to think style was all about freedom ,the ultimate self-expression. I still believe that. But lately, it’s felt more like a performance. And some days, when I scroll past my own feed or stare into my closet, I wonder: Who am I dressing for?

Because I don't always recognize the person in the mirror.
And that's where impostor syndrome creeps in, not just professionally, but personally, visually.

The irony? I'm the one who built this version of me. But sometimes, I feel like a guest in my own life.

Fashion Was My Escape, Then It Became My Disguise

I started using fashion as a tool for survival.
In high school, when I didn’t feel cool or confident enough. In early adulthood, when I was figuring out where I fit in. Even now, in an industry that tells you that "aesthetics" are everything, fashion helps me claim space. It gave me a voice before I knew how to use my own.

But somewhere along the way, I began dressing for the gaze of others ,not for myself.

• To look like I had it all together.
  
  

• To seem like I knew exactly who I was.
  
  

• To prove I belonged in rooms where I still felt like a beginner.
  
  

And that’s the trap of impostor syndrome: it makes you question the very things that used to ground you. It tells you that you’re faking it, even in your favorite boots.

The Outfit That Didn’t Feel Like Me

I remember one day, pulling together a look that I knew was “on trend.” It was photographed well. It got likes. But walking down the street in it? I felt hollow.

No confidence.
No spark.
Just a girl in clothes that didn’t say anything real.

That day, I realized something had to shift. Because when fashion stops being fun and starts being performative, it stops being yours.

 Reclaiming My Style, One Outfit at a Time

So I’ve started coming back to myself.

• Wearing outfits that aren’t always “bloggable,” but feel authentic.
  
  

• Bringing back pieces I loved before the algorithm told me what was cool.
  
  

• Dressing not to “impress,” but to feel like me again.

• I even started a dress trend because who wouldn’t love wearing dresses everyday and it just felt free to me.
  
  

Some days, that means oversized hoodies and scuffed sneakers. Other days, it’s a power suit with red lipstick. The difference? Now I’m choosing them for me, not to play a part.

Fashion doesn’t have to be about proving. It can be about remembering.

If You’ve Ever Felt Like a Fraud in Fashion, You're Not Alone

If you’ve ever:

• Felt like your style didn’t reflect who you really are
  
  

• Second-guessed an outfit that you loved because it wasn’t “cool enough”
  
  

• Played a version of yourself you thought the world wanted to see
  
  

I see you. I am you.

This blog, and this space, is about unlearning that pressure. About rediscovering the joy in dressing. About reminding ourselves that personal style is just that: personal.

Style Prompt: #DressedLikeIBelong

What’s one outfit that made you feel most like yourself — not your brand, not your content, not your Pinterest board — but you?

Post it. Share the story. Tag it with #DressedLikeIBelong, and tell us why. Let’s turn fashion back into something healing — not something hiding.

To anyone else unraveling in private:

You’re not an impostor. You’re evolving.
You still belong , especially in the clothes that let you be real.

With love + layered looks,
 

Kirstie Marie